Identity Debt: The Future Cost of Being You

They say you can be anything you want to be, but they never mention the cost of maintenance.

Identity debt is the future cost of maintaining your current self. It’s all the money, time, emotion, and effort you’ll go through in the future to keep on being the person you’ve chosen to be.

This can manifest as primping, personal care, time spent envying others, athletic classes, clothing, vehicles, homes, even time spent in conversation about your identity.

You also want to factor in opportunity costs of not being able to pursue things that would be better for you like: staying in your current job/career even though it’s not the best, spending time with a “friend” that you don’t really like, stopping a sport where you keep getting hurt, etc.

The people with the highest identity debt could be politicians. They need to keep up appearances the most. The people with the lowest identity debt might be con artists. They can’t afford to keep the same identity for too long.

High identity debt means you can be easily blackmailed or threatened. You’ve paid a lot for your identity and you don’t want to lose it.

Zero identity debt could mean you have no identity and thus no sense of self.

I think the ideal zone to aim for is the low 20% end of the scale. Enough of an identity that you feel a sense of self, but low enough cost of maintenance that you can’t be easily swayed by challenges to your identity.

Examples of Identity Debt

“Gym guy” identity debt

Let’s say you’ve decided to get in shape by going to the gym. Your identity debt is everything you’re on the hook for in the future to keep up your gym routine.

• Financial costs of being a “gym guy”:
  • Gym membership
  • Workout clothes
  • Supplements?
  • Transportation to/from the gym
• Time costs:
  • Traveling to/from the gym
  • Getting undressed, preparing for workout
  • Time spent working out
  • Conversations at the gym
  • Showering and getting dressed
  • Researching workout technique and diets
  • Doing extra laundry to clean your gym clothes
  • Researching injuries, physical therapy
• Emotional costs:
  • Debating about gym workouts with other gym guys
  • Scoping out other gym guys to see if they’re getting ahead of you
  • Concerns about being good enough compared to other gym guys
  • Obsessive thoughts about the gym when it would be better to be thinking about something else

“Hair and nails” woman identity debt

Maybe you’re a woman who’s been getting her hair done and putting on makeup for so long you’re just sort of doing it on autopilot now. Your identity debt consists of:

• Financial costs:
  • Hair appointment costs
  • Nail appointment costs
  • Cost of transportation to/from appointments
  • Makeup costs
• Time costs:
  • Doing your makeup
  • Reading about makeup products
  • Researching makeup techniques
  • Hair appointment time plus transportation time to/from salon
  • Touching up makeup regularly
• Emotional costs:
  • Scoping out other women’s makeup and comparing it to your own
  • Feeling less-than when your makeup isn’t right
  • Not being able to spontaneously go 

All of these factors are never-ending regular payments on your identity debt. They add up to a lot of your money, time, and emotional energy.

How shirtless running is a low-identity debt activity

One of the reasons I like running so much (specifically shirtless running) is it has a super low cost of identity debt.

Financial costs of running

I buy a pair of running shoes maybe every 2-3 years, along with a few pairs of running shorts. 

Time costs of running

Running has the lowest time cost of any other form of exercise. You just put on your shorts and shoes and run out the front door. There’s no driving anywhere, and you can shower right in your house. I rinse my shorts in the shower after my runs and hang them to dry. I’ll throw them in the laundry for a deep clean every couple weeks. And because I run shirtless, there are no shirts to launder.

Emotional costs of running

Since running is a solo activity, it tends to have less emotional costs than other forms of exercise. And because I’ve devoted myself to the 100-year technique, I don’t need to spend any time researching, and I don’t need to compare myself to others.

Recognize and eliminate identity debt from your life

Identity debt is like financial debt in that once you acknowledge it, you can work towards eliminating it. Hopefully this article brought some of your own identity debt to the surface.